Oh My Goth!!

Things are strange...and never static.

Take me for instance...what the hell am I trying to do here?! Am I a "real" Goth? Or am I just deluding myself?

I know that after researching things Goth that I am 90% comfortable with classing myself, or rather being classed as, Goth. Sure there are some things that I dislike (the heavy blood themes, the scary aspects that some favour, the fashions and make-up that I consider OTT for everyday wear), but hey, my dress sense isn't the best, and the search for comfortable shoes that I like, that I can afford and that are not leather is proving worse that trying to find the Holy Grail (at least there are clues that the Grail exists, lol).

My size and age are other factors, too. To suddenly decide that you want to start identifying as Goth at the age of 32 (and with a dress size to match your age) is tricky, to say the least, and without my wonderful Nana making me a few skirts before she gave up dressmaking (about ten years before she died) I would have been virtually stopped in my tracks. It seems the only place that makes clothes in my size is one online store in America...thankfully the clothes are good quality and also affordable, so it's not too bad, but even so, it seems that if you're over a dress size 16 that you are too fat for 99% of all of the Goth type clothes out there, and that is just bonkers!!!

I'm fully aware that there is more to being Goth then just dressing in black, having black hair and being weird. There is also the music, the literature, the perspective changes. But it really hasn't been all that hard a change...the only things that I have had to buy have been black dye (for both hair and clothes), some music, some make-up and some accessories (the hardest of which is shoes or boots, most are either too expensive, leather or have not a chance of fitting my fat legs, lol). If I hadn't chosen to become a vegetarian, the shoes would have been an easy choice, too...plenty of black boots and shoes out there (things like DM's, for instance) but they are all made of leather and I'd rather not buy them, to be honest. The ones I have managed to track down cost from £72 and upwards and I can't even try them on until they arrive, and if the size is wrong I'll then cop for the p+p to send them back again...such a palaver **sigh** I think that I'm just going to have to take the plunge and order a pair of the cheaper ones and see how I go. I feel that all that I'm really missing for my outfits to feel "just right" is a decent pair of gothy-type shoes!