A question about the term "fluffy" in Paganism

There was a question asked, about just what "fluffy" means (at a forum I used to go to all the time, but which I rarely go to anymore as I feel as if I now longer belong there as I'm not "Pagan enough!")

I was going to reply to the thread, but upon reflection I really didn't feel comfortable enough in doing so and so I'm posting it here instead (no doubt someone would have remarked about my post not actually replying to the question of the thread, and I just cannot be bothered in people arguing with me over it). My reply:

I'd be very surprised if there were any "fluffies" in the Valley, this place tends to knock that out of people very quickly! I know it did with me!

Reading the definitions of "fluffy" here made me laugh... and I fall into the "fluffy" spectrum in a good few areas (although not in my belief about angels and fairies, I don't believe in them). In regards to some of them I'm a very bad Pagan and probably should stop using the term in regards to myself as I don't appear to be Pagan enough.

Personally, I don't care how fluffy someone is, and it's taking me years to counteract the negative programming I received here towards terms like blessed be and merry meet (and subsequently my opinions of people that use them, too... when you are told enough to scorn the terms, eventually you end up scorning the people that use them as well, which is wrong!)

These days I don't care what people believe, I just care about how they treat me and others. It matters more to me. If people want to believe that all fairies are like Tinkerbell and are happy little pixies that only do good for people, who cares? Who are they hurting by believing that? No one (and if the Fae are offended by that I'm sure they are more than capable of doing something about it, not that I believe in the Fae, either).

People should have the right to believe whatever the hell they want, and none of us have any rights to tell them that they can't (or treat them as somehow lesser for holding beliefs we disagree with... that would make us elitists).

I would have posted it there, but there would be no point, I'd either be ignored or I'd be dog-piled and have people having a go at me for saying it and I truly can't be bothered with that kind of treatment! I seemed to routinely either get ignored or treated as somehow lesser for voicing my opinion over there in the past, so I no longer bother anymore (in fact I left for the longest time and returned a few weeks ago to find most of the people that seemed to take umbrage at my mere prescence had been banned, but there are still a few left). I just don't feel as if my opinions matter so why should I post anything there?!

I can honestly say that the only things I learned there were how to look down on people for believing things that I was meant to find ridiculous and how to be very cynical and condescending regarding people that dare to say things that are frowned upon (like merry meet and blessed be).

It is being back at places like that that make me not want to be pagan at all... if I'm meant to believe some of the things that they all believe I'd rather not bother with any of it!

They are fine with people believing in whatever they want, unless they don't agree with it and then you shouldn't believe it! I truly don't give a shit anymore... if people want to worship a clown riding a yellow unicycle round and round in a circle, that is up to them and as long as they don't tell me I have to believe in it too, it's all good.

I sometimes wonder if it's places like that that help make me so confused sometimes... if enough people tell you you're wrong for thinking a certain way, eventually you start to believe them so that you feel like you belong! It reminds me of the story of The Emperor's New Clothes, where anyone that couldn't see the wonderful fabric was a fool... and as no one wanted to be thought of as a fool they went along with the charade even though the King walked the streets stark naked!

I'm not prepared to spend my time defending my opinions against people that have no right to question them, so it's better for me to just stay away from those people!!!

I feel so sad and disappointed right about now...

... as I feel like I've just lost a friend. All because I asked a question, how sad is that?

I would go into more detail, but what is the point, really? It's probably for the best, though I'm having a tough time seeing that it way right now. Do I really want to be at a place that operates under double standards? Not really... I've spent far too much time at xtian forums that do that... "one rule for here and another for there because we say so, so get over it or get out."

Just makes me sad, as I now feel I have no place online to ask questions of, or be in the presence of, other pagan people... so apart from a couple of people I contact through email I guess I'm on my own on my path.

I so wish I'd set up a forum when I had the chance... too late now, though *sigh*

Guess I should get to bed, things will probably look different in the morning and hopefully I won't feel so sad and disappointed - hopefully.

Some people really need a good smack!

Why do people do that? Post things at forums that they know are going to upset and anger people and then complain when people get angry and upset?! I just don't get it.

I don't come online to be made angry, I can do that in real life... I come online to relax and talk to friends, not to be made to feel like shit!

To have your feelings and thoughts used in flippant ways for the amusement of other people is wrong, and I'm sick of having people do that to me... they can all get fucked! To have your words twisted and the tone of your posts turned against you, and by people that you've helped in real life and consider friends, well frankly it sucks, and the people that do it can piss off!

I don't want internet drama, I avoid drama in real life like the plague so I see no reason I should put myself right in the middle of online drama, just because some people are huge arseholes and have such boring, mundane lives they feel they have to give themselves a laugh at another's expense. I'm done with being the butt of the jokes, I'm through with being "good old Minty, she can take it"... bollocks to that!

Either be nice to me or be gone... I no longer have time for people that use me. The door is closed on that chapter of my online life.

I've decided to leave UKP...

... at least for now. After being quite shocked by the attitudes of some of the posters in the obesity thread (well one in particular... stupid cow)... and then after writing out a long reply and being totally ignored, I've come to the conclusion that I might as well not be there. I've felt that way for a while now, I always get the feeling that whatever I say is never good enough, appreciated or even wanted, so why should I waste my time anymore? **shrugs**

I've deleted everything over there, but I've left my blog as it will gradually get pushed down the listing as others update theirs... my avatar, sig, profile info and profile picture have all gone. I'm not going to tell anyone as there is no-one there that will care, so why bother. If I did then I would only get people coming along and slagging me off for being an attention whore and be accused of trying to get sympathy or trying to get people to change my mind... I've seen it happen before and I don't what to have it happen to me.

I've removed the link from my links here... if anyone wants to visit the forum go to http://thevalley.ukpagan.com... and good luck if you do!

Why do I bother?

I often wonder what I bother joining online forums for... I don't seem to get anything out of them anymore! I'm not christian, so don't fit too well on the christian ones, I don't feel particularly pagan these days, so am none to comfortable on the pagan ones, I don't feel very goth anymore, so the goth ones are not really me and as for the rest that I've joined in the past I just can't seem to get a foot in the door as I have nothing to say there... and even if I did I am really just not in the mood to post my opinion and get set upon by the forum regulars for daring to post my views, or worse, have to cite sources to back up every little thing that is posted, or else have to retract my opinion! (Just how you are meant to find things to back up your own opinion, I have no idea **sigh**)

Apart from Farmville and the rest of the facebook games, and the Drag Cave dragons I highly doubt that I'd do anything online anymore. This blog entry is the most I have typed online in about four days!!! So unlike me. I just can't seem to think of anything of any value to say... neither do I fancy voicing an opinion that will be unpopular, or saying things that in some places can actually get me banned, just for daring to question others about the things they say! Shocking, yet true.

I just can't seem to be bothered with all of the damn drama that some places seem to generate... I don't want to agrue about Jesus, nor do I wish to be constantly told that unless I accept him that I am doomed to spend an eternity in hell. Sadly, that is the very thing that I get told on a fairly regular basis at some of the places I frequent (though not with any regularity these days). Some of the people are just so totally toxic in the things that spew from their mouths that I have neither the time nor the inclination to bear them any longer. I think that Winston Churchill got it right when he said "A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject. "

I spend way to much time...

...on the computer!

I seem to waste hours a day just doing... not one hell of a lot, if I'm honest. I used to do so many things - candle making, knitting, embroidery, tapestry, jigsaws, jewellery making, going for walks... now all I seem to do is sleep, eat, work and surf the net... not a very rewarding experience most days  **sigh**

The laptop is on for more than twelve hours nearly everyday! I'm sure that can't be very healthy, for either me or the computer, LOL! I wouldn't mind, but I always seem to forget to visit the places that I should be visiting, like the places where I am staff... I mess about at Facebook using Farmville, Drag Cave seeing to the dragons or blogging here and by the time I seem to remember about places like PWUK and The Glade it's bedtime and too late so I say "must go there tomorrow" and then come tomorrow, I seem to forget again until it's too late!!

Why do I do that?! It's not even as if I have such pressing concerns or undue stress that I'm incapable of remembering... it's just that I always seem to remember when it's too late for me to do anything about it, and then the following day something always seems to happen to distract me and so I forget again. Do I feel guilty for constantly forgetting... yes, I damn well do! But I have no idea why I cannot seem to remember to go there first... maybe I should leave myself a note saying to visit the forums before I do anything else... it certainly can't hurt!!

What's the damn point?!?!

I often wonder what is the point of my being in forums?! I don't feel like I truly belong in any of them anymore. My posts seem to be ripped apart, ignored or taken the wrong way. Either that or I have nothing to say.

I don't feel as if I have an online home anymore. I feel like an outcast. I'm not Christian, so no longer fit on the Christian forums, I don't feel pagan enough for the Pagan ones (I'm either too fluffy or not fluffy enough), I'm not secular enough for the Secular ones (my belief in gods gets great chuckles and insults) and the others are made up of people that have known each other for years, and have little in jokes and speak of people and incidents that are unknown to me.

Maybe it's just me...maybe I'm just in a strange mood lately, but I never feel like I have fun online anymore...maybe I should just not bother, I wouldn't be missed and I doubt I would miss it either!

What the hell is wrong with people?

What on earth is wrong with people these days?

I have seen so many people online that I thought were nice people suddenly turn around in the past few days and become rude, vile and un-necessarily nasty to most of the people that they used to consider friends. I just don't get it.

I suppose that if people pretend to be something online that they are not in real life, that eventually they get sick of being someone that they're not, and just stop maintaining the mask. Or if you feel that you are always portrayed as being something that you are not, and your words are always twisted around to skew and misinterpret their true meaning that after a while people must think that if they are thought of in a certain way that they will behave that way.

I think that that is totally stupid, but there we go, I'm not them, thankfully.


I find myself getting very tired of being online in forums sometimes...I just sometimes can never see the point of me being there. No-one listens to me, I always feel ignored and I'm sure that I could do something more useful with my time.

Oh well...I just needed to get it out.