Still no news on the job front...

...though gladly some benefits have come through, so things are not nearly as dire as they have been in the past.

The house is safe...Dad is recovering from his eye op's well (though still being a total fool in seeming to be unable to accept that he's no spring chicken anymore) and all is calm in general, really (which helps me to sleep at night).


There are a few small problems (aren't there always, lol)...my car makes a scary noise when I turn the steering wheel too far in either direction (may have to get it looked at soon, though not sure how I'd pay for any repairs), the little puppy that we had clashed so violently with the cats that we were forced to return him to his original owners (who gave him to a nice lady, so not feeling too guilty about that one...the cats have also settled back down, which is great) and I have bad pain in the achilles tendon area of my left ankle which can give me terrible gyp sometimes (but there's nothing that I can do about it, so I just have to get on with it as best I can).


Faith-wise I'm still living in a semi-permanent state of confusion. Sometimes I feel 100% Pagan and then in the next five minutes I don't. It's the weirdest thing...When I was a Christian I missed being Pagan and when I'm Pagan I sort of miss being Christian (although the thought of trying to combine the two leaves me cold, so that's a no-no!).

Also the whole Goth thing is making me feel weird, too. I would love to be "proper" Goth, but it's impossible. Being fat means that none of the nice clothes come anywhere near fitting me, all of the nice shoes are leather (not good for a vegetarian) and the veggie alternatives are way, way out of my price range, as are all of the accessories that I like. I get the feeling that wherever I go people take one look at me and label me as "tragic" for trying to fit into a mould that was never made for someone my size or age (I should be a teenager or in my early 20s to be starting out with the whole Goth thing, seems to be the general feeling, I finding **sigh**).
I don't know...maybe I'm trying too hard...maybe I'm not trying hard enough...I just don't know anymore!


That's about all, I think.