Not too bad...

... and after being called back to work suddenly and having to cut the interview short, she is coming back today and bringing the little one with her at about 11am.
I feel an utter bitch in that we lied to the woman with the girl with ADHD and told her that the place had gone! Ben was such a nightmare today (he ended up getting a timeout, he was so bad) and just the thought of having two of him in the house (and the little girl has been diagnosed with ADHD, and she can be really bad, her Mum said) filled me with dread!! That, and the fact that we'd have to go to four different schools daily, me at two, and Mum at two, me driving, Mum walking... and I suddenly thought that at 60 Mum shouldn't be having to do all of the walking, especially as it is all hills (and her knees are starting to get a bit dodgy, if I'm honest).
Sure, the money would have been nice, but just the idea of having a kid in that is destructive, as her Mum said she can be, and I thought NO! I'd rather have less money and have the house in one piece. The other thing that put me off was the prospect of having to work until 8pm again... we've only just had a girl leave that sometimes didn't leave until 9-9.30pm, and I hated it... when are you supposed to eat?! We used to work nasty hours when Josh was here full time, and we said after he switched to part-time that we wouldn't do it again, and we ended up having to... sometimes, though, you have to really think about things and do what's best for your family, and working until that time is not good, especially for my Dad - he's on medication that has to be taken at regular intervals, with meals, and we weren't getting proper meals as it's too late to start cooking at 9pm, plus we were then too tired to eat them if I did manage it LOL!!
I suppose on reading it back, it does sound as if I'm making excuses for not wanting the little girl, and maybe I am, but I've had my share of violent and aggressive kids in the past, and I've been there, and done that and so has Mum (and we have the scars and broken possessions to prove it!) We even go to schools that once upon a time we refused to go to as they are too far away. We used to go to two school that were both within walking distance and with the two of us, it was do-able. Then Belle started school three miles away, and a girl started that had to be picked up the same time as another little girl, and I had to start using the car, and then another girl started at another school and then the boys at yet another school... and it's just a nightmare, but we couldn't say no, as we needed the money. We currently go to three schools (well, we will when Katie comes back from holiday) and you add a baby to the mix, and then another school, and... I don't think so!!
These days, as long as we have enough money to pay our bills, with a little spare for a few luxuries every once in a while, that is good enough for me... my tastes have really simplified, and I'm happy with the odd dvd or music download from amazon.
Anyway, I'm off to bed, to have a lay in in the morning (WOOHOO!!)
I do still feel a total bitch, though, especially as the woman sounded so disappointed when she was told... oh well, too late for guilt now 8-{  **sigh**