M's explaination of Christian forgiveness
"I remember growing up Catholic and being dragged reluctantly to mass every Sunday. The one thing I did enjoy though was the music -- we had a "folk group" which sang more or less contemporary folk songs during the mass. My parents sang in it, and as I loved music I naturally assimilated all the songs week after week. One in particular comes to mind now. It had a sappy little melody, and the words will probably sound oversimplistic, but the first verse went something like this:
God forgave my sin in Jesus' name
I've been born again in Jesus' name
and in Jesus' name, I come to you
To share His love as He told me to
He said --
Freely, freely you have received
Freely, freely give.
Go in my name, and because you believe,
Others will know that I live
The point being, that the love and forgiveness we receive from God is to flow freely through us and out from us to other human beings. In cases where we have wronged them, it is to flow with the simple humility of owning up and asking their forgiveness, restoring the sense of dignity our offense had stolen. In cases where we feel ourselves wronged, it is to flow in free and abundant grace and forgiveness, restoring dignity to the offender either to salve the wound of feeling bad about what s/he's done, or to afford an atmosphere of peace and emotional safety wherein it becomes more likely s/he will hear the soft, gentle voice of God's Spirit making the truth of the matter known to him/her and melting his/her heart.
I've tasted that beautiful place ... my prayer is to live and walk in it 24/7....."
"I believe God forgives whether we are sorry or not. When we harden our hearts instead of repenting, we miss out on His forgiveness, but that does not mean it isn't there. 
When I see Christ say "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do," I see Him showing the way of forgiveness which neither relies upon nor requires the right attitude from the wrongdoer first. I cannot think of any other way to break the cycles of grudgebearing and standing with arms folded waiting for the other person to wise up and "go first". That kind of thing traps us in bitterness. If we have to wait for the person who wronged us to recognize they've done so, then we are at their mercy. Forgiveness extended regardless, allows us to let go and find freedom from that mental prison; we need not remain bound to the choices of someone else (or lack thereof).
It is counter-intuitive, I realize, but nearly all the most effective principles of His Kingdom seem that way on the surface. "
