So...

... not too sure what to write here, to be honest. The blogging bug seems to have gone into hibernation for the winter. I've not even written my paper journal (which is weird for me). Maybe it's to do with the weather, the pain I'm in and the fact that I now have a cold - and for some unknown reason the worst backache I've had in years. Whatever it is, I just can't seem to settle to write anything down. I wonder if the constant thought of my efforts being discovered is putting me off, or whether I'm just too tired/lazy/meh to actually think about things to write about? lol.

I have been thinking about my path, though, so maybe I should write about that?

For some reason I can feel my connection to the Moon deepening... I'm not sure just how it is, or what it entails, but "something" feels different.

I was thinking about "The God", too... the male aspect of deity and the fact that after the initial meeting with Pan that nothing more has happened. It's so weird, but I feel no connection to any male deity whatsoever... even Pan just gets a feeling of "that's nice... and?" from me these days. I was thinking that I might be one of these pagans that doesn't "have a god" (although I do believe in the existence of them/Him). Then I got to thinking, is that wrong? I know in some pagan circles that having the female without the male is frowned upon, deity being both sexes it really should be that you honour both, too... but can you really do that if you feel no connection to a male godhead? Not sure how to go about doing that... to say "Lady Selene and My Lord  {blank} " just feels very wrong to me. I don't really see the need to try and force myself upon a God that doesn't want me (and if They want you They let you know, lol!).

I was also thinking about my relationship with Selene and how do I know that I actually have one and I'm not deluding myself? The short answer is that I don't... I have no idea just why I am so sure that I'm a Moonwitch (I was called that by a very dear friend, and it makes perfect sense to me, so I've adopted that title). I don't even know what a Moonwitch actually is, nor what they do, how they practice, nothing! At the present time I can only say that I am a Moonwitch and my brain tells me that whatever I do is what a Moonwitch does, lol... (sounds quite arrogant, I suppose, but it doesn't when I think it, only when I write it down).