So glad that this week is coming to an end!

I've been so stressed it's not been funny!

I've been due an inspection from Ofsted since I completed a course at the end of January... and I had it yesterday morning. I've been rushing about getting my paperwork into order, fretting about the house being clean and tidy, making sure that anything that could have harmed the kids is out of their reach (even though the kids are never left alone to touch things that could harm them)... and I needn't have bothered! The inspector didn't ask to look at any of that, she never inspected the house, checked the kitchen to make sure it is suitable for food preparation... nothing! All of the things I would have thought to be very important regarding the children (like making sure the house is good enough for them to be in) were never even mentioned! All she cared about was paperwork... and the fact that mine is not as good as it can be (even though I was taught to do it the way I am doing it) and she gave me a Satisfactory (rather than Good or Outstanding, which I didn't care about). Satisfactory means that they will not be back for three to four years and I can get back to doing what I consider more important than drowning in a sea of paperwork... actually having fun and playing with the kids, making sure they are safe and happy and grow up to be good people!

I remember when this job was fun, when I felt excited to get out of bed in the mornings as a new day meant doing new things and seeing the results in the children I cared for. Now, I dread waking up sometimes as I never know if the day will bring more paperwork that I have to have... and every minute I spend with the paper is another minute I don't spend with the kids.I was taught that the "needs of the child are paramount" but Ofsted seem to value paperwork over children and I don't agree with that. I now have to prove on paper that I can do a job I've been doing for 17 years without a complaint!

At one stage I even began to resent the three year old we had just taken on, as his arrival here brought all of the paperwork into effect... how bad is that? He can't help being three, and it was not his fault that he caused me such stress in all of the paper that happened because of his starting with us.

One thing has become clear to me, though, because of all of this... I will never take on another child under the age of six (they have to be in the first real year of school). I am not going to go through this thing again as the paperwork is really beginning to become a burden. It takes away my imagination as all activities have to be planned weeks in advance and in accordance with the statutory guidelines as laid down by Ofsted. That is not the way I work, I see what kids are interested in daily and try and get stuff together that holds their interest... I don't even plan what I'm having for dinner tonight, let alone what I'm going to with the kids a week from now!

All outings also have to have a dry run first, with no kids present and a risk assessment must be done as well... we couldn't even take the kids to the shops as we have to do it first before the kids can go and the route you take when you assess it is the route you have to take on the day - then Ofsted say that the kids have to go out more often (even though it is them that has made doing so so difficult as to be almost impossible!)

You just can't win!