Feeling much better today

I feel much better today, well, compared to this time last night, anyway lol.

I have no idea why I let the people that don't matter get to me. I have no idea who people really are, I could walk past people in the street and not realise that I have been shafted by them online. Maybe it's just as well, eh... a lot less violent all round that way! LOL!

Anyway...

I seem to be really tired lately. Mum says that it's boredom, she could be right. That's the problem with school holidays, nothing to do. I'm used to days being on a fairly set time limit - school runs and things - and I just get used to not having to do them and then they start all over again, lol! No pleasing some people, eh?

Progress with the written diary/journal is going really well. It's nice to have a place to write down the things that I think about late night/early morning that I have no-one to talk to about (and by the time I remember are fairly unimportant). The sort of thoughts that stop me from sleeping, but don't really matter to other people... stuff about my faith, things that have upset me or made me angry, musing on life in general really.

Reading the war (and peace) time writings of Nella Last showed me just how important diaries can be. For Nella they were a lifeline, and without them she would have had virtually no-one to talk to... her husband was cold and aloof, one son was living in Manchester, and later in Northern Ireland (where he married) and her youngest son was in the Army and travelled where he was told to go (which was eventually abroad, and after the war he emigrated to Australia). Without her diaries Nella would have had no-one to tell her thoughts and fears to... and I thank her for writing down all of the things that made her diaries so very fascinating. I was upset when they came to an end. I feel like I had a lot in common with Nella. I'm going to enjoy re-reading them.


Daisy says that it's being pagan that has me recently embracing all things black! I had to laugh at that one. I've been pagan since about 2001, but it's causing me to dress in black (and do the goth accessories thing) now... eight years later, hahaha. I couldn't be bothered to tell her that most pagans don't dress like me... some days you could just give me a witches hat and cloak and I'm ready for Hallow'een, LOL! It's closer to the truth to say that just recently I've stopped trying to be the things I'm not and just be the person that I want to be... and that person is fairly gothy! I just never realised it until now, hehe.


Have been having a talk to Mum, and I'm seeing if she would like to get herself a blog here. I'd help her to set it up and then she'll have somewhere to post all of her frustrations. It might help her to have something to do online in the future... if not it will just become one of the thousands of blogs that are created and never maintained lol (most of mine are like that!)