I've long suspected that I wasn't like "normal " people when it comes down to my feelings and views about sex. Don't get me wrong, I don't care what other people do... as long as there are consenting adults, I truly don't give a damn... your private parts, your private business! But for myself it's not a subject I care about or can ever see me "doing"... if you get my drift. The thought of it just doesn't appeal to me at all. I'm even a little scared, being honest and I've thought for a long time that I might be asexual.
For those that don't know what it is:
For those that don't know what it is:
Asexuality (sometimes referred to as nonsexuality), in its broadest sense, is the lack of sexual attraction and the lack of interest in and desire for sex. Sometimes, it is considered a lack of a sexual orientation. One commonly cited study placed the prevalence of asexuality at 1%.Now, although I do not have any desire to ever have sex, I do find men appealing and I consider myself to be straight, and not gay as many men seem to think! I don't want to be with women, I like men (just not in a sexual way!)
There are many kinds of asexual as can be seen from the list below:
Asexuals, while typically lacking in sexual desire for either sex, may engage in purely emotional romantic relationships.Terms concerning this:
- aromantic: lack of romantic attraction towards anyone of any gender
- biromantic: romantic attraction towards person(s) of either gender
- heteroromantic: romantic attraction towards person(s) of the opposite gender
- homoromantic: romantic attraction towards person(s) of the same gender
- panromantic: romantic attraction towards person(s) of any gender or lack of gender
- transromantic: romantic attraction towards person(s) of variant or ambiguous gender
- polyromantic: romantic attraction towards person(s) of more than one gender or sex but without implying, as biromantic does, that there are only two genders or sexes
The confusing part is, that I do want a relationship and I am a hetero-romantic (the third option in the above list). I love the idea of having a romantic relationship, holding hands, hugging, kissing, everything that a normal relationship entails... just not the sex. That part doesn't interest me in the slightest. Some say that "I don't know what I'm missing" and this is true, but they fail to grasp that I still don't care, I don't want to know what I'm missing as I don't feel that I'm missing out on anything at all! Just like straight people don't want to know what they're missing out on regarding homosexual sex, I don't care about any sex.
Would I ever change my mind regarding this? I have no idea, at present, no... but if the right man came along and I loved him with all of my heart who's to say what I might consider doing for him?
I was asked the other day if I'd be happy with my male significant other going to prostitutes for the sex I can't/won't provide and I'm honestly fine with him doing that... as long as I knew who she was (I'd want to meet her), he was safe (used protection), used his own money, and didn't kiss her on the mouth (not if I kissed him as well). Would I be hurt, probably yes, how could I not be at the thought of someone I adored being intimate with someone else, but on the other hand if I'm not going to be able to satisfy that need for him then it's unfair of me to expect him to not do it just because I refuse to!
Just because I feel there are more important things than sex, I can't make that decision for everyone else... it would be like me being forced to have sex because my other half did it, too!! That's wrong as it takes away freedom of choice... I couldn't do that to anyone, least of all someone I loved.
So, they could go and do whatever they needed to do, and then come home... I don't want/need to know what they did (thanks all the same).
The ideal person to be with would be another hetero-romantic asexual... but that is probably wishing for too much. Still, I can wish all I like... and failing that, just a nice guy that understands would do LOL!
**both quotes fromWikipedia, click the Asexuality Logo on the right to read it for yourself**
