A blessed Beltane to everyone reading this

Not much has occurred since my last entry.

The house has slowly become used to only having one cat... it seems so weird with just one, for over five years we have had two, and the first time we went shopping we added the extra food to the trolley out of habit :o(

Anyway... the weather here has been truly dismal of late; rain, high winds, leaden grey skies, and various assortments of the three. Yesterday and today there has actually been sunshine (I was beginning to think the sun was merely a myth!) and it has made all the difference. I'm not a fan of sitting in the sun, but it does lift my mood when that fiery, yellow ball in the sky can be seen and felt... sometimes lol.

I feel generally unwell... nothing I can put my finger on, but yet again I cannot seem to shake off a cold/flu virus thing that I went down with a few weeks ago and feel so drained of energy throughout the day that I am often forced back to bed in the middle of the afternoon! Not helpful.


My faith has also taken another setback recently in that I feel my connection to Selene is waning... often to the point of being non-existent! I hate this... the constant running in circles where faith is concerned, it makes me sad that I cannot seem to make a decision and stick to it and be happy. Actually it infuriates me!

Add to that, the fact that Blogger seem to have made unwanted changes to everything here and I'm feeling pretty fed-up at the moment. It has taken me ten minutes to find my dashboard here, and even longer to find the posts available for edit. *sigh* If a change is not for the better, please don't bother making it!!

Samahin 2011

I wrote something for Samhain (yes, I know it's a miracle... I didn't forget lol). I just wanted something small and personal that I can say whilst I am lighting candles.

Samhain rite 2011

Samhain – when the veil between the worlds is thin,

When we welcome the spirits of passed loved ones in,

To show love and honour to those gone before,

With a place at the table or open front door.

I welcome you back on this Samhain night,

I know you are here bringing love and not fright,

I give you a message, simple and clear,

I love you, and thank you for drawing so near.

Time it is fleeting and soon you must leave,

Though a part of heart, it always will grieve,

I thank you for making the long journey here,

And remember I love you, 'til you visit next year.

It's not very much... and I'm hopping that I'll feel well enough to actually read it out on the day (fingers crossed).

To all who may read or see this, I'd just like to say...

More Pagan musings.

I cannot put my finger on just what makes me think that I'm "The Moon's Girl" but I am. I guess it's one of those things that you only understand if it happens to you.

I wasn't even able to do anything much for Samhain as I was kind of waylaid into watching films with "The Pair"... fortunately they were films I wanted to see, so it was all good. I did mark it in a small, internal way, though... and for some reason I cannot bear the thought of either of the two of them watching me perform rituals of any kind, even simple stuff like leaving offerings... it feels like they are witnessing a part of me that is far too private for their eyes to see.

Earlier in the day, though, I'd gone to see my Nan (who had fallen down the stairs) and she asked if my Dad had a wedding ring... (the answer is no) and she wondered if he'd wear his late fathers' one (which she wore on her middle finger, but which had become too large and kept falling off). I said that if Dad didn't wear it, that I would and she did no more and took it off and asked which finger I'd like it on. For some reason I chose my ring finger, left hand and it has been on ever since. Normally I would never wear gold jewellery... I have it and it feels wrong, as I'm a "silver" person... but this is different and it's come to symbolise much more than being just a wedding ring... it is something tangible of the past, a link to those that have passed over - when I see the ring it reminds me of my Grandfather, and in turn that sets me off thinking about all of the people and pets I have lost in the past, and I even recall some of the stories of my other Grandfather that died before I was born. Being gold it also is a symbol of the God (and even though I have not been "claimed" it feels right to have silver on my right hand, for My Lady, and gold on the left for The Lord that is yet to emerge... if He ever does).

All of this on Samhain, too... after thinking about it for a couple of days it seems like that was my ritual after all.

If I'm not around before Mabon then...

 

What to do for Mabon?

At the moment I have no idea and the festival is rapidly approaching.

I'm going to have to do some research and see if my pain-addled brain can come up with something... far too often I let festivals slip past without marking them, and I can't keep doing so as I feel really guilty when I do!

It will be nothing huge or demanding, as I'm assuming that my arm will still be hurting (and if I plan something taking that into account and it turns out that my arm is better, than I've lost nothing and can always add stuff "ad-lib"). I'll have to have a think and see what I can come up with.