Why are some men such liars!!

I've been talking to a guy called Bobby for about a month over at Facebook. He had been a Farmville friend for months before he started speaking to me (which he did when I started using my actual picture as an avatar).

The conversations started to get more intense each time we spoke, and I checked his profile and it said "single" so I was fine for the talk to get more personal. He told me how unhappy he was with his life and that he was desperate to leave where he was. We even discussed sexual things (not that it mattered much to me, but I followed the conversation where it meandered). He said I was beautiful, and talked about coming to see me one day.

Yesterday he gave me his private email address and I gave him mine... all was going well until I went to his profile again, to look at his picture in his photo album and I saw something that shocked me to the core... in the relationship status section, instead of "single" as it used to say it said "in a relationship with" and it was the name of someone else!!

He lied to me when he said he was single, he's been in a relationship this whole time! He said that all the things he'd ever say to me were honest, but he lied from the start. I sent him this message:

"Just checked your profile and it says you're in a relationship... why didn't you say anything? I wouldn't have said so many personal things to you had I known that you were taken :o("

He sent back:

"sorry"

I replied with:

"So am I, and I'm sure when we first started chatting that your status said single... I wouldn't have said the things I did had it said otherwise.

How long have you been together? Were you ever going to tell me or just keep talking to me as if there could have ever really been something between us? I now don't believe anything you've ever told me, including when you said I was beautiful. You said you'd always be honest with me, and yet if I hadn't checked your profile you'd still be lying to me right now!

You have no idea just how much you've hurt me because you lied! I had genuine feelings for you... I'm so stupid!"

Then he sent me this:

"hey i did tell u i was in one"

He didn't say anything about that! I would never have said some of the things I did to him had I known he was involved with someone else. I wouldn't have allowed myself to believe there could really have been something between us had I known he was with someone else. I wouldn't have been so open about my asexuality with someone I didn't think was serious about me.

After he sent that final message he removed me as a friend, and he appears to have blocked me as I can no longer see his profile...  it's like he never existed. So the final message I typed to him, that I couldn't send I actually posted as my status, for everyone to see, and I named him, too:

"To Bobby Downs, who appears to have blocked me so I can no longer send you messages, you spineless coward and liar:* No, you did not tell me you were already with someone! I would never have said the things I said to you had I known you were in a relationship! And why would you be saying the things you've said to me if you already have someone in your life?! Say them to her, not me. * Arsehole!!!"

I wonder if I hadn't gone to his profile to see his picture if he'd still be talking to me now? Probably he would, as he was shameless enough to talk to me and lie from the beginning... I just don't know how people can do that! It's such a callous and cruel thing to do :o(

I hate it when people lie to me

And when that person is a potential love interest it hurts even more when they finally admit the truth to your face.

See, I started something with someone online... and they basically used me for their own selfish ends and then dumped me and pretended like nothing happened. I don't think so!!

The part that hurt the most was that it is because of what I look like that they changed their opinion... and I told them it would, and they assured me it wouldn't matter, and then when they saw me everything changed, and although part of me was relieved another part of me was very hurt and also pissed off that I had been used and lied to the whole time!! It's taken me a week to finally get him to admit it, and now he has I feel surprisingly fine... sort of lighter and back to myself. I just needed him to tell the truth and stop feeding me bullshit and lies. I have no hard feelings and have told him that if he is willing to forget the past then so am I. I guess I'm just a forgiving kind of person and he is only 21 and probably still hurting from the break up of his first relationship two months ago. I like the guy and would still like to be his friend... but if not then I have lost nothing, and I can't change my nature and be a total bitch because that is not who I am... once my initial anger has faded I just have to get things back on a even keel again... it's just that I have to have that balance, but then I am a Libra and it shows ROFL!

If nothing else it has made me wary for the future, and also determined that nothing like it will ever happen again... and I'm also damned certain that I will never be suckered into situations that leave me wide open to being used again.

The past is the past, and I'll forgive but not forget. I firmly believe that to forget the past means you are doomed to repeat it, and that is never going to happen again. I do want a man in my life... but not one that is going to treat me like shit, I'm more than capable of treating myself like that and I need no help from anyone else... thank you very much.

As the old saying goes "Fool me once, shame on you... fool me twice, shame on me!"

I am so very fucked off right about now!!

How dare people go out of their way to make another person feel like shit... just how fucking DARE THEY!!! Who the fuck do they think they are?!?! To keep stringing people along, making them wait, keeping them dangling like a long forgotten puppet. People make mistakes, people fuck up, show me someone that has never fucked up something and I'll show you a damned LIAR!!

Trust gets broken, fair enough, keep your distance... but do NOT keep people waiting and waiting for the day you say will eventually come when you feel about them in the same way as before your trust was broken. IT.WILL.NEVER.HAPPEN!!

What makes it all the sadder is that this isn't real life, where trust and hearts have been broken face-to-face, this is online... on the internet... one step removed from reality. How this can be as bad as real life trust breaking, well, that one is beyond my comprehension. People can be whoever the hell they want to be online... in my time I've pretended up a storm, and sometimes I still do, to have the life that I dream of, I can only do that online.

Do I give a shit what other people think about my doing that? Fuck no! It's no-one else's damn business.

But when someone is genuinely asking for your forgiveness, for something they did months ago (and which seems trivial to most other people outside of your little protective clique) who is at fault there? The person trying to make amends or the person not allowing them to do so? So someone may call you names and sound a bit jealous/threatening... get the fuck over it already! If they lived just down the street to you then I say be a little wary, but when they live on a different CONTINENT to you, then what the hell is wrong with YOU for being such a moron and cowering like some beaten dog?! WTF is wrong there?


Shall I carry on and piss off some Xtians? Why the fuck not, this is my tiny corner of the web and I can say what the fuck I like here... hold tight, here we go.


Do what the red words say or don't call yourself a CHRISTian!! His words and deeds should be the blueprint for your life or you're doing it wrong! It's not about the rules and regulations in the Old Testament... they were written for the Jews... the only words you need to be concerned with are the ones uttered by the Son of God... no one else's words mean a thing... Jesus is it... do as He says or fuck off!

If you are treating others as you would like to be treated yourself then you will not be breaking any commandments... it's really simple... Love God, and everyone else, too. Six words... and they are the hardest words to live by... but if you use the name CHRISTian, then follow His example and do as He says. If you don't then you are a liar and you are not a real CHRISTian... simple really!

I don't care what a book says about "end times" and "heaven and hell" if you are treating people as Christ commanded then it will not matter... the "end times" is the future and we don't live in the future, we live in the present... and "heaven and hell" are also not to be worried about... why worry? If you are "following the red words" then it's covered!

Would you like to be treated like shit, be talked down to, be made to feel less then something on the bottom of someone's shoe? Then don't make others feel like it!! If in doubt just remember What Would Jesus Do? If He wouldn't treat people they way you are treating them now, then you have a problem!!

If you expect people to forgive your sins, then you also have to forgive other people theirs! Hypocrisy is a dirty word... ask yourself, honestly, "am I a hypocrite?" "do I say one thing, yet do something completely different?"


And on that note I think I'll stop.

I lost my job yesterday!

The two boys we had in here lied to their mother, and she "hating confrontation" believed them, without even having the decency to talk to us about it and placed them somewhere else over the half term! Apparently a four year old cannot lie... hate to tell you, love, but yes they can, and your one certainly does! The only reason the kids didn't like being here is that we never gave into them and they had to follow our rules and do as they were told... something that their mother fails to get them to do on an epic scale! She once rewarded her youngest son for walking off by giving him a cake because he started crying! What kind of message is that sending?... in order to get what you want all you have to do is annoy your mum enough and tantrum her into submission!! Madness.

The very best of luck to whoever ends up collecting them, they'll need it... the oldest one is a liar and sneaky as hell and the youngest one is a manipulative little psycho that tries to bargain his way out of punishment... I have to say that I'm glad they are gone, I just wish I'd had some notice and also the money I'm owed, but that won't happen! The text messages she was sending earlier had more bullshit in them than a field of cows and I can see where her kids get their deceitfulness from.

Anyway... I still have one one little girl and she is lovely and thankfully now out of the presence of "the terrible two"... their bad behaviour was starting to rub off on her and we were actually thinking of getting new kids in and telling them to leave!!!. I've notified the council we now have vacancies and also asked the local school if they can let us know if any parents are looking for childcare. I don't really know what else to do... I'm not qualified to do anything else and if I start looking for a different job and then people want to come in, what do I do then? Money will be tight, very tight, but I think will can survive for awhile. Mum spoke to the mortgage company earlier and there is a new arrangement in place with them, so our house is safe, we have a few cutbacks to make (not wasting food, watching our utility use and getting rid of some of the cable tv, that kind of thing)... but hopefully with the warmer weather coming we will not be spending so much for gas and electricity anyway. I'm hoping that Mum is going to give up smoking, but I'm not holding my breath... there is more stress now and she isn't in the right frame of mind either, so not the best time to give up the one thing that calms you down, LOL!

The day has just been totally surreal, and I'm sick of thinking about it (as is Mum)... we are meant to be getting a text from "her" but I'm not holding my breath... I just find it amazing that a woman can be so gullible in thinking that her kids don't lie when they do it to her all the time... they broke her oven two months ago and they still haven't told her the truth about how it happened - but her kids don't lie... **sarcasm**

Well I never!!

Just received this text message from Virgin"fucking"media!!!

 Dear customer,


You recently called to book a technician due to a problem with your Virgin Media Services.


We have an issue in your area which is affecting your services.


Your technician has been cancelled and we aim to have your services restored within 8 hours.


Virgin Media.

 What, what, WHAT!!! After the whole debacle of yesterday when they tried to blame me, they have suddenly realised that they have an "issue" in this area?! I'll bet they have... the issue being that it's not just me that has phoned them and asked "why the hell have you disconnected my home phoneline when I've only just sodding paid you?!?!?!"

What a pile of blame shifting bastards!! I wonder what the "issue" could be?! Could it be that someone is a complete and utter imbecile and they have been pressing the wrong damn button and disconnecting people for no good reason?!?! I doubt I'll ever bloody know... one thing I do know, though, is that if the phone is not reconnected within 8 hours, as soon as it does come back someone there is going to get a right bollocking!!

I hate liars!

And we have one in our midst.

A girl that we look after... she's 11 years old and she's blamed a seven year old boy for something only she could have done (as the boy is too short to have reached). Two toys were put on top of a high wall mounted bookcase that we have, and apparently the seven year old (J) climbed on the arm of the chair, climbed onto a white plastic box and then put the toys about seven feet off the ground!


The problems with this are

1. J is only seven years old and four foot tall
2. There was no reason for him to do it the first place
3. He would have broken the white plastic box, as it wouldn't take his weight
4. It was done in silence, and if he'd climbed he would have surely knocked something down
5. When he was asked to climb up there and demonstrate how the girl said he did it, he couldn't do it! In fact he paled and got to standing on the arm of the chair and said that he was afraid he was going to fall, and asked if he could get down (so how he did it with a heavy toy in his hand is beyond me!)

Since I started writing this blog entry... the 11 year old has sort of accepted the blame (apparently she did one and J did the other)... still a half truth, but better than nothing. Maybe.