I hate it when people lie to me

And when that person is a potential love interest it hurts even more when they finally admit the truth to your face.

See, I started something with someone online... and they basically used me for their own selfish ends and then dumped me and pretended like nothing happened. I don't think so!!

The part that hurt the most was that it is because of what I look like that they changed their opinion... and I told them it would, and they assured me it wouldn't matter, and then when they saw me everything changed, and although part of me was relieved another part of me was very hurt and also pissed off that I had been used and lied to the whole time!! It's taken me a week to finally get him to admit it, and now he has I feel surprisingly fine... sort of lighter and back to myself. I just needed him to tell the truth and stop feeding me bullshit and lies. I have no hard feelings and have told him that if he is willing to forget the past then so am I. I guess I'm just a forgiving kind of person and he is only 21 and probably still hurting from the break up of his first relationship two months ago. I like the guy and would still like to be his friend... but if not then I have lost nothing, and I can't change my nature and be a total bitch because that is not who I am... once my initial anger has faded I just have to get things back on a even keel again... it's just that I have to have that balance, but then I am a Libra and it shows ROFL!

If nothing else it has made me wary for the future, and also determined that nothing like it will ever happen again... and I'm also damned certain that I will never be suckered into situations that leave me wide open to being used again.

The past is the past, and I'll forgive but not forget. I firmly believe that to forget the past means you are doomed to repeat it, and that is never going to happen again. I do want a man in my life... but not one that is going to treat me like shit, I'm more than capable of treating myself like that and I need no help from anyone else... thank you very much.

As the old saying goes "Fool me once, shame on you... fool me twice, shame on me!"

M's explaination of Christian forgiveness

"I remember growing up Catholic and being dragged reluctantly to mass every Sunday. The one thing I did enjoy though was the music -- we had a "folk group" which sang more or less contemporary folk songs during the mass. My parents sang in it, and as I loved music I naturally assimilated all the songs week after week. One in particular comes to mind now. It had a sappy little melody, and the words will probably sound oversimplistic, but the first verse went something like this:

God forgave my sin in Jesus' name
I've been born again in Jesus' name
and in Jesus' name, I come to you
To share His love as He told me to
He said --

Freely, freely you have received
Freely, freely give.
Go in my name, and because you believe,
Others will know that I live

The point being, that the love and forgiveness we receive from God is to flow freely through us and out from us to other human beings. In cases where we have wronged them, it is to flow with the simple humility of owning up and asking their forgiveness, restoring the sense of dignity our offense had stolen. In cases where we feel ourselves wronged, it is to flow in free and abundant grace and forgiveness, restoring dignity to the offender either to salve the wound of feeling bad about what s/he's done, or to afford an atmosphere of peace and emotional safety wherein it becomes more likely s/he will hear the soft, gentle voice of God's Spirit making the truth of the matter known to him/her and melting his/her heart.

I've tasted that beautiful place ... my prayer is to live and walk in it 24/7....."

"I believe God forgives whether we are sorry or not. When we harden our hearts instead of repenting, we miss out on His forgiveness, but that does not mean it isn't there.

When I see Christ say "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do," I see Him showing the way of forgiveness which neither relies upon nor requires the right attitude from the wrongdoer first. I cannot think of any other way to break the cycles of grudgebearing and standing with arms folded waiting for the other person to wise up and "go first". That kind of thing traps us in bitterness. If we have to wait for the person who wronged us to recognize they've done so, then we are at their mercy. Forgiveness extended regardless, allows us to let go and find freedom from that mental prison; we need not remain bound to the choices of someone else (or lack thereof).

It is counter-intuitive, I realize, but nearly all the most effective principles of His Kingdom seem that way on the surface. "