How fucking RUDE!!

This guy first sent message to me at the dating site asking for my MSN!



Chris says:
 Hey you
Minty says:
 hiya
Chris says:
 Having a good day?
Minty says:
 not really, being surrounded by other people's screaming kids gets a little tiring after a while lol
 roll on 6pm
Chris says:
 hmm   lol. you seem a bit lonely from your profile, but you seem really lovely
 how are you finding the site generally? I've only been on for three weeks and been on a couple of dates
 nobody with that spark yet though Minty! lol
Minty says:
 I just re-read it and it does sound that way, lol
 I've only been a member for about the same time, well a paid member, I joined a few years ago and did nothing about it lol
Chris says:
 are you still single?
Minty says:
 I'm one of those people that only feels lonely when I stop and think about it haha
 yep, always have been
Chris says:
 it is nice though to turn in with someone.. not to mention having a girl to bang   haha. I split up with my ex late last year and don't like being single at all
 always? what, you've never been in a relationship?!
Minty says:
 I'm sorry that it didn't work out for you both
Chris says:
 I'm not, she was awful
Minty says:
 nope, I've never been fussed and no one has ever been interested either (so it worked out for the best haha)
 oh... good news then... but not about the being single part
Chris says:
 how come you've not been fussed?
Minty says:
 I suppose because I've never be bothered about sex and usually prefer my own company lol
Chris says:
 ah-ha
 shall I leave you to it?
Minty says:
 give me a good book and some rock music and I'm set
 I do like talking to people, though
Chris says:
 are you a virgin?
Minty says:
 yep
 I was told I was scary the other day because I admitted it lol
Chris says:
 Do you masturbate?
Minty says:
 not for ages
Chris says:
 that is the strange bit
Minty says:
 lol
Chris says:
 do you get wet?
Minty says:
 I don't see myself as  sexual creature
 no
Chris says:
 if you think about a guy... or girl...( ? ) that you like?
Minty says:
 I don't know, I never really have
Chris says:
 can I say, I think you're missing out
Minty says:
 lol
 I get that all the time
Chris says:
 you're an attractive girl, you could easily get a boyfriend
Minty says:
 thanks
Chris says:
 IF lol
 if you were slightly more chillaxed lol
Minty says:
 chillaxed?
Chris says:
 yeah!
Minty says:
 about what?
Chris says:
 about sex - it's kind of a big deal you know
Minty says:
 I just don't see that part at all
Chris says:
 do you find girls attractive or guys?
Minty says:
 that must be what makes me scary lol
 I do like guys
 guess I don't see me the way others do so I never think about it lol
Chris says:
 I don't think you're scary - I think you're in your shell and it could take months or years for a guy to pull you out of it - and most guys wouldn't have the patience or stand getting rejected..
Minty says:
 makes sense
Chris says:
 if I was a regular guy on a dating site, id think aw shes nice but shes never going to want to do anything
Minty says:
 maybe... I never said I wouldn't, just that I don't much care lol
 I think there are vastly more important things
Chris says:
 but.. but.. you signed up for a dating site
Minty says:
 but that is just me
 to meet friends
Chris says:
 why are you so disinterested when you made the effort to meet people
Minty says:
 maybe se if anything more developed lol
Chris says:
 guys don't want to meet friends and speak for years before possibly maybe going for a drink
Minty says:
 I have no idea
Chris says:
 the two girls i went on a date with in the three weeks ive been on here id spoken to for 2 days. ya need to get out there and meet people Minty
Minty says:
 I'd be willing to go out and do stuff, I'm not a total hermit lol
Chris says:
 the problem is u come across just not bothered at all
 because ur not
Minty says:
 I'm not bothered about sex
Chris says:
 so theres not really much point being on a specialist site for guys to want to find bigger girls
 have you ever kissed a guy?
Minty says:
 so basically then unless I'm willing to shag like a rabbit I should just kill myself then!
 no I haven't
Chris says:
 well no offence but you dont exactly seem happy from your profile
Minty says:
 none taken, trust me
Chris says:
 good luck, its all i can say
Minty says:
 I'm wondering why I'm bothering
Chris says:
 me too
Minty says:
 you are about the sixth guy that has said similar thingd to me in the past two weeks
Chris says:
 yes. it's obviously just that all men are the same and we're all pigs
 that's probably it
Minty says:
 I never said that, and I'll thank you to stop putting words in my mouth!
Chris says:
 I get the feeling you're a feminist
Minty says:
 and?
Chris says:
 so you think that women are superior to men
 and you claim to be straight
Minty says:
 did I say that? no
 I just refuse to allo wmen to dictate to me the things I do
 allow men
Chris says:
 have you considered looking at yourself, what you *really* like, maybe you'll find happiness if you step outside. there are a lot of pretty ladies in the world for you to meet

{he went "Appear Offline" at this point so I have no idea if he got these messages or not... I hope so!}

Minty said (16:14):
 lol... I'm not gay
 and FUCK YOU!!
Minty said (16:22):
 you have to be the most arrogant prick I've ever spoken to... not only are you insulting and incredibly rude, you are also talking out of your arsehole! It
Minty said (16:25):
 It's men like you that make me glad I am single... if ever someone would turn someone lesbian it's a total wanker like you. I'm just really glad that all men are not like you... I'm glad you dumped your ex, at least now ahe is free of the manipulative tosser that is you.
Minty said (16:26):
 If anyone needs good luck for the future pal it's you... you are the one that hates being single... and if you carry on treating people in the shitty way you do now you're going to be a very lonely old man! I can only say that it will serve you fucking right HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!



What a total bastard! How dare he speak to me like this, and I've known him for about thirty minutes!!

Needless to say he has been blocked at MSN and also at the site... just as well he lives in Yorkshire, had he been nearer I might have tried to get some horse manure through his letter box or something LOL!

I have also amended my profile, it now reads like this:

General Information

Hi, my name is Araminta, but people just call me Minty. Militant feminist... closet lesbian... misandrist... scary... abnormal, none of these actually describe me (although all have been thrown at me in the past by men that fail to understand the complex creature that is me... pity them, they are idiots lol). Those that *do* know me describe me as fun-loving, honest, accepting, loving, funny, loyal, helpful, caring and gentle with a dry wit and a good sarcastic comeback. I'm a fairly laid back biped, and am slow to anger (but when I do get up a full head of steam it's best to stand back and just watch me go... just don't get caught up in the fracas and you'll be fine). I love, watching baseball and tennis, cheesy horror/monster movies, rock/metal music, cats, being Goth, cemeteries and my family. I hate football, garlic, the colour beige, parsnips, rude people, R&B, traffic jams, summer heat and earwigs.

Appearance

I'm 5'10 barefoot, so am tall for a woman, have green eyes (proper green, not hazel green) and they are my best feature, wear glasses and have light brown hair. I am always in black and rarely wear heels as I find them uncomfortable (plus they give me the height of a giant and I tend to intimidate people even more than normal... though don't get me wrong, sometimes intimidating people is a good thing haha). I love long skirts and don't wear trousers as I find them uncomfortable, and I guess my style of dress would be best described as Goth-casual.

Looking for

Good question... a friend that is nice, respectful and doesn't talk to me like crap? Someone that is not a sex maniac and is interested in what is between my ears rather than between my legs (I've had guys tell me I should just have sex as I don't know what I'm missing... they fail to understand I don't care! Any man that thinks pressuring someone into doing things they don't want to do is a good thing can just leave me the hell alone already!) Friendship is the most important thing for me at present... regardless of how wonderful a guy looks if I can't stand being in his company then there is nothing there for me! If something more develops through friendship, cool... I'm ruling nothing out, but for me friendship comes first. I admit to liking tall men, but that is purely because I myself am tall. Jerks with one-track minds need not apply! (I do have the phone number of a brothel, though, for those that want/need it... joke).

If I meet no one I am totally fine with that... I'd rather be alone than be used as some kind of easy legover for douchebags! I may not have much confidence, but I do have a sense of pride!!

I'm surrounded by sex-mad people!

I'm at a dating site for big women... and all of the guys that speak to me all seem as if they just want to get their leg over and shag like rabbits! I don't want that, not at all. One guy even asked why I was on the site if I'm not interested in sex!! What kind of question is that?!?! What about friendship? What about romance? Is sex the be-all and end-all of human achievement? Is there nothing else? What am I missing here?!

I like the idea of being in a relationship, I really do, but the sex part doesn't matter to me, in any way (I also don't want kids). The thought of having sex makes me feeling sick (in fact I just shuddered at the prospect). To me there is so much more than interlocking body parts. Maybe because I'm a virgin and have never even been kissed is the reason (as I've been told I don't know what I'm missing, which is true, I don't)... maybe it's because I find my body repulsive and the thought of someone else seeing it (and the reactions it would no doubt garner) fills me with fear! I like the idea of being kissed... it's just the rest that makes me want to turn and flee in terror. Sex just seems to make things so complicated and can lead to such life changing events that I don't want (kids, disease, medical examinations, etc).

I like men, I really do, I like the thought of being in the company of a man that I find attractive... I like the thought of hugging and kissing, walking hand in hand, of looking into his eyes and feeling loved and all of the other little things that couples do together... just not the sex part! I think it would take someone incredibly special to ever change my mind, too, and I'm not sure such a man exists.

I also don't see how people could ever see me in a sexual context, I have nothing sexual about me... some people seem to exude sexiness from every pore, I don't. I can't even flirt so I don't bother as it seems to send out signals that I don't know how to deal with when things always seem to turn more serious.

I just don't understand this obsession with sex that seems to pervade every tiny facet of people's lives these days... surely there has to be more depth to people than that? If not then what the hell is wrong with me in that I don't and can't see things in the same way?!

Maybe I shouldn't bother in trying to find someone out there... if all I'm going to be is a place to rest their genitals then I'd rather be alone and stay true to myself... another reason that I'm grateful to prostitutes... they deal with the guys with one track minds so I don't have to!!

Guess I'm just a frigid prude.

I always knew I was different... now I know I am a total freak by today's (low) standards... not sure how I feel about that, being honest  **shrugs**

I hate it when people lie to me

And when that person is a potential love interest it hurts even more when they finally admit the truth to your face.

See, I started something with someone online... and they basically used me for their own selfish ends and then dumped me and pretended like nothing happened. I don't think so!!

The part that hurt the most was that it is because of what I look like that they changed their opinion... and I told them it would, and they assured me it wouldn't matter, and then when they saw me everything changed, and although part of me was relieved another part of me was very hurt and also pissed off that I had been used and lied to the whole time!! It's taken me a week to finally get him to admit it, and now he has I feel surprisingly fine... sort of lighter and back to myself. I just needed him to tell the truth and stop feeding me bullshit and lies. I have no hard feelings and have told him that if he is willing to forget the past then so am I. I guess I'm just a forgiving kind of person and he is only 21 and probably still hurting from the break up of his first relationship two months ago. I like the guy and would still like to be his friend... but if not then I have lost nothing, and I can't change my nature and be a total bitch because that is not who I am... once my initial anger has faded I just have to get things back on a even keel again... it's just that I have to have that balance, but then I am a Libra and it shows ROFL!

If nothing else it has made me wary for the future, and also determined that nothing like it will ever happen again... and I'm also damned certain that I will never be suckered into situations that leave me wide open to being used again.

The past is the past, and I'll forgive but not forget. I firmly believe that to forget the past means you are doomed to repeat it, and that is never going to happen again. I do want a man in my life... but not one that is going to treat me like shit, I'm more than capable of treating myself like that and I need no help from anyone else... thank you very much.

As the old saying goes "Fool me once, shame on you... fool me twice, shame on me!"

Have you ever heard anything so ridiculous in your life?!

A guy online today has tried to excuse men (not all men, just those that do it, of course) that are selfish and put their wants over the needs of their family (wife, kids, etc) by saying "God made us this way"... what a pile of steaming horseshit!! How dare someone try and say that just because the man works hard he should get to do whatever he wants with his money, whether it's buying stuff like computer games, tv's, cars, etc... and that rubbish is more important than getting food, paying bills and making sure that all of your family has something nice.

That is just wrong on so many levels, to me... selfish doesn't even cover it! To put WANTS over NEEDS makes me so angry! WANTS are what you get when NEEDS are met... not instead of with the kind of "fuck you, Jack, I'm alright" attitude. People that do that don't deserve to get ANYTHING... they NEED to wake the fuck up and realise that "IT AIN'T ALL ABOUT YOU!!!"

I work hard for my money, so by using the same twisted logic I should be able to say "Don't bother paying the mortgage this month, Mum... I want to buy a flat screen tv and a blu-ray player!" I don't think so... but then I live in the real world and not some juvenile fantasy land where it's all about me. me, me!

AAARRRGGGHHHH!!! What is wrong with people... and why do they constantly bring God into their fucked up decision making? I'm sure if the Xtian God is real that He is getting pretty pissed off at all the crazy arseholes that keep spewing that tired old shit! I know I'm tired of it and I've only been hearing it for about five years... I cannot imagine how bad it would be after a few millenia... I'd definitely feel some smiting coming on and be about to open some big cans of "whoop ass"... not to mention booming down to earth "Stop keep saying I'm telling you do this shit... don't blame me for the fact that you are a complete and utter FUCKING MORON!!"

Maybe that is why "God" gave men external genitalia, so that the unrepentant cavemen always have something to use when "dick-swinging" ?

I think I had my first panic attack on Friday!

Sissy was laying into me about her view of personality disorders... saying that she feels that most people use them as an excuse to not do the things they should do, and I felt myself getting tenser and tenser until I had to pretend to be asleep in my chair in the hope she would go away!

She sat there talking to Mum and all I could think was "Go away, please, go away"... and I sat in the same position, rooted to the spot for so long that even after she left the room I couldn't move! I had to go to bed afterwards as I felt so mentally and physically drained that I couldn't even think straight, let alone do anything. I ended up crying in pure frustration at seeming to behave in such a weak way. It was kind of like being in your own body, but hearing things from very far away... like mentally cowering in a corner. Most strange, and not something that I ever want a repeat of!!

I really have to realise that I have an opinion and I have a right to air it... damn other people... and damn others for being able to affect me so badly.

One of the things I do all the time is to change my opinion to please the people around me... and I shouldn't do that. My opinion should please no one but myself, and if others don't like it, then TOUGH! But my wanting desperately for everyone to like me means I have the ability to think that the opinions and views of others are more important than my own, and they're not! When I'm around Sissy and Pingu, I can't even mention religion in passing, without them kicking off on some atheistic diatribe and discounting all of the worlds religions as nothing more than people refusing to live in the real world and trying to get "god/s" to solve all of their problems for them, or else use "god/s" as an excuse for all of the things that go wrong (or right). They constantly bring up the tired old argument of "if God is so brilliant, why does He allow suffering, and let bad things happen to good people?!" I have no idea how to counter stuff like that... or even if I want to - why should it be up to me to try and explain away their arguments when they are spat at me with such venom and arrogance? I'm not a Christian Apologetic and I have no idea of even where to start in trying to find an answer for them... but I am expected to (they fail to realise that regardless of what I say they will never understand it as they disagree, and never really understand that which they think is wrong - basically I'm damned either way  *sigh*).

How can I explain stuff that I am unsure of myself? I have no idea why there is suffering... but I do kind of understand that without it we would not be able to show empathy, compassion and understanding to other people - sometimes you really do have to have been there in order to be able to connect with others that are either going through similar things, or that have done in the past (or will do in the future). I know that all that I have suffered in my life has made me more able to comprehend other people more... I am able to use my experiences to help me understand what others are going through. Oftentimes you really do have to walk a mile in someone else's shoes to truly know how they feel. Suffering brings understanding... even if at the time you don't actually realise it. That's my thoughts on it anyway... trying to get other people to understand my opinion, though... well... that's a different matter entirely  *sigh*

Pathworking meeting finally makes sense!

Years ago I did a pathworking... it was my only time and I didn't get very far with it before I was warned off (short story, the face of the Goddess morphed into something with huge serpent-like fangs as I tried to hug her, and I was scared and took it as a sign that I wasn't ready to go further at that time).


Anyway... before I was scared off I had got to a clearing where I saw the Lord and Lady... now the Lady was beautiful with long silver blonde hair and she was wearing clothes that sort of reminded me of the kind of clothes that peasant girls used to wear in the Medieval period (just like Aurora/Sleeping Beauty wears when she's hidden from Maleficient)... so over the years I've come to associate the Lady I saw with Selene, Goddess of the Moon. I've felt connected to the moon for years, so that makes sense (well, to me, lol).

Now, the Lord that was with her was half man/half goat, and I always wondered if it was Pan, Cernnunos or a deity as yet unknown to me. Lately I've been somehow drawn to Pan, but I could never see a connection between Pan and Selene. The info on Selene is meagre, to say the least and I don't recall reading about Pan (although it is mentioned very briefly in the Wiki article about Selene, although at the time I first read her article a year ago I was not even registering male deities, I was more eager to learn about her. I haven't read it since then until I just went and read it following a link from the Pan entry to cross-reference it).

However, tonight I found something whilst reading the Pan entry at Wikipedia that suddenly made my pathworking make sense:

Quote:

Erotic aspects Pan is famous for his sexual powers, and is often depicted with a phallus. Diogenes of Sinope, speaking in jest, related a myth of Pan learning masturbation from his father, Hermes, and teaching the habit to shepherds. Pan's greatest conquest was that of the moon goddess Selene. He accomplished this by wrapping himself in a sheepskin to hide his hairy black goat form, and drew her down from the sky into the forest where he seduced her.

That would explain why they were in the clearing, sitting by a fire together as I approached them... they were lovers. I couldn't have known that two years ago, I'd never even heard of Selene then and I'd never read anything about the Greek Pantheon (I only had a basic knowledge, the kind you pick up without even realising it). I only fully realised they were connected to each other (apart from being in the same pantheon) about 30 minutes ago... but I was told two years ago.

To say I'm stunned is an understatement!

Peter Steele is dead!

I just found out, and it happened about two weeks ago!

He was the lead singer of one of my favourite bands, Type O Negative, and I'm so shocked to hear about him dying :(

It's kind of thrown me at the moment as he wasn't old (late forties or early fifties I think, don't know off-hand). Some reports are saying about it being heart failure, but his family are not releasing any details about his passing yet.

He even re-converted to his native Roman Catholicism before his death (as he seemed to be afraid of the nothingness that was the lot of the atheists that he was one of for many years). Poor guy, he sounded totally conflicted and depressed regarding his faith... I just wish him the peace in death that eluded him in life.

RIP, Pete. Safe journey :(

(eta... on checking out Wikipedia it said that he died on 14th April and he was 48).