Finally did some gardening

As usual I forgot to take any before pictures, so you'll just have to take my word for it that it was very reminiscent of a wild jungle! I kept expecting to find a small tribe as yet undiscovered by civilization lol. Sadly all I found is slugs, snails and about a dozen worms in weird and wacky places!

Considering that the garden had been ignored for about 18 months it could have been much worse. We (Mum and I) were out there for about four hours yesterday, and we got quite a lot done. I lopped down some of the huge cherry tree next door (before the rapidly falling blossom turned into cherries); pruned some roses, a forsythia, a Japanese maple (which I also repotted after sawing through the roots that had burst through the bottom of the plastic pot it was in! The pot is now a heap of plastic pieces as I had to smash it to bits to get the plant out lol), pulled up about a thousand weeds, planted a sad looking pink camellia in the ground, emptied the ashes out of the incinerator from the Beltane bonfire, top-dressed another Japanese maple, chopped down and fought with some suckers on the roses, swept the small patio and struggled with Mum to put up our gazebo. There is still a lot to do, but we both felt too tired to carry on. Mum was suffering with her back and dodgy shoulder and my right ankle became too painful to stand on for very long... all signs to go indoors and rest.

All told, though, I feel very happy with the progress we've made :0) Fingers crossed we both feel well enough to go out again later today and do some more.

New Year Resolutions

Normally I don't bother making resolutions. I have fairly poor will power and self control so even before January has passed I've either broken them or decided I can't be bothered to keep them!

This year I thought I'd try again. My Nana would have been 100 this year (had she still been alive) and to mark her centenary, and give me more of an incentive, I have decided to give the resolutions another go. I'm not going to go mad... that is probably why I've failed so dismally in the past, because I wasn't being realistic with myself. That's a bit dumb!

So, in no particular order and with realism firmly in mind, my list looks something like this...

1. Take better care of myself; eat well, get enough sleep, care for my skin and hair properly, and take my supplements.

2. Try and keep my anger in check; stop snapping/nagging at people and try and not get so easily frustrated.

3. Get more exercise;  go for a walk or something similar.

4. Read the books I bought years ago and never started.

5. Take more photos; maybe do this while completing no.3 to kill two birds with one stone (so to speak lol).

6. Keep up to date with my diary and blogging.

7. Try and not worry about problems that don't exist and about situations that will probably never arise!

8. Try and lose more weight; ideally about four stone by 2014.

That's all I can think of for now. It's the main ones anyway, the ones that will make a difference in my life.

Fingers crossed I at least manage to achieve some of them lol.

Asexuality and me

I've long suspected that I wasn't like "normal " people when it comes down to my feelings and views about sex. Don't get me wrong, I don't care what other people do... as long as there are consenting adults, I truly don't give a damn... your private parts, your private business! But for myself it's not a subject I care about or can ever see me "doing"... if you get my drift. The thought of it just doesn't appeal to me at all. I'm even a little scared, being honest and I've thought for a long time that I might be asexual.

For those that don't know what it is:

Asexuality (sometimes referred to as nonsexuality), in its broadest sense, is the lack of sexual attraction and the lack of interest in and desire for sex. Sometimes, it is considered a lack of a sexual orientation. One commonly cited study placed the prevalence of asexuality at 1%.

Now, although I do not have any desire to ever have sex, I do find men appealing and I consider myself to be straight, and not gay as many men seem to think! I don't want to be with women, I like men (just not in a sexual way!)

There are many kinds of asexual as can be seen from the list below:

Asexuals, while typically lacking in sexual desire for either sex, may engage in purely emotional romantic relationships.Terms concerning this:

• aromantic: lack of romantic attraction towards anyone of any gender
• biromantic: romantic attraction towards person(s) of either gender
• heteroromantic: romantic attraction towards person(s) of the opposite gender
• homoromantic: romantic attraction towards person(s) of the same gender
• panromantic: romantic attraction towards person(s) of any gender or lack of gender
• transromantic: romantic attraction towards person(s) of variant or ambiguous gender
• polyromantic: romantic attraction towards person(s) of more than one gender or sex but without implying, as biromantic does, that there are only two genders or sexes

The confusing part is, that I do want a relationship and I am a hetero-romantic (the third option in the above list). I love the idea of having a romantic relationship, holding hands, hugging, kissing, everything that a normal relationship entails... just not the sex. That part doesn't interest me in the slightest. Some say that "I don't know what I'm missing" and this is true, but they fail to grasp that I still don't care, I don't want to know what I'm missing as I don't feel that I'm missing out on anything at all! Just like straight people don't want to know what they're missing out on regarding homosexual sex, I don't care about any sex.

Would I ever change my mind regarding this? I have no idea, at present, no... but if the right man came along and I loved him with all of my heart who's to say what I might consider doing for him? 

I was asked the other day if I'd be happy with my male significant other going to prostitutes for the sex I can't/won't provide and I'm honestly fine with him doing that... as long as I knew who she was (I'd want to meet her), he was safe (used protection), used his own money, and didn't kiss her on the mouth (not if I kissed him as well). Would I be hurt, probably yes, how could I not be at the thought of someone I adored being intimate with someone else, but on the other hand if I'm not going to be able to satisfy that need for him then it's unfair of me to expect him to not do it just because I refuse to! 

Just because I feel there are more important things than sex, I can't make that decision for everyone else... it would be like me being forced to have sex because my other half did it, too!! That's wrong as it takes away freedom of choice... I couldn't do that to anyone, least of all someone I loved.

So, they could go and do whatever they needed to do, and then come home... I don't want/need to know what they did (thanks all the same).

The ideal person to be with would be another hetero-romantic asexual... but that is probably wishing for too much. Still, I can wish all I like... and failing that, just a nice guy that understands would do LOL!

**both quotes fromWikipedia, click the Asexuality Logo on the right to read it for yourself**

Whoever said the woods are quiet is a liar!

I was in the woods yesterday and I was amazed at how noisy they were! It is quieter indoors, LOL! Between the sounds of dogs barking and playing, people talking, children having fun and all of the birds singing, chirping and cooing I was glad to get home, hehe.

The birds were the loudest! I heard crows, magpies, wood pigeons and about six more that I couldn't identify. When I'd walked a few hundred yards into the trees, though, the sound of the birds was all I could hear... and it was beautiful. I thoroughly enjoyed myself, even though I was only there for about 30 minutes (I was killing time waiting for Dad to attend a hospital appointment, and rather than just sitting in the car park twiddling my thumbs, I took a five minute drive up the road with my camera and took far too many photos, LOL!)

The sunlight through the leafless trees was lovely, and it wasn't cold either, I was able to walk around with my light coat undone. I walked over the crunchy leaves from last year and I felt kind of re-energised, even after such a short time.

So glad I went when I did, as on the way out about 50-100 guys from the local Army barracks came jogging into the woods for their cross-country exercise... the shouting and "encouragement" they were shouting to each other (basically swearing at each other lol) would have totally spoilt my visit, but as I was leaving anyway I found it amusing rather than annoying.

Hopefully when I've had time to have a good look at the pictures I took I'll edit this post and add a couple in.


Edited to add: Picture link.

Flickr photos.

And here a few of the photos I took:

Just had a haircut

... I got Mum to lop four inches off the bottom... it's sort of shoulder length now (it's still wet, so it will raise up a bit once dry). It feels so much nicer... I hate the feeling of having hair everywhere (especially the stray ones that seem get inside your clothes and tickle your bloody back!)... and I also want to to stop dying it as I've noticed that it's getting really thin lately (and I seem to lose an awful lot when I wash my hair, which I have to do every day). I can still get it in a pony tail, so it's all good :)

I feel so tired again today, and my eyes are itchy and stingy and I have a stuffy nose (sure sign of hayfever, though I've taken my antihistamine today, so I've no idea why I still feel like that :( )... I'm still in my pj's, but I have to get dressed soon, for some reason I seem to be more tired when I stay in them than when I get dressed (probably psychological, as I associate pj's with bed or feeling unwell).

My stomach seems to be ok, it feels very "heavy" though, probably the leftover from the other day (though it feels as if it wouldn't take too much for it to react again :( )

Anyway, I'm enjoying my "unofficial" time off (not expecting any calls about work until May)... money is tight, but sorted (which is a relief) and I'm amazed just how little you actually need to survive on when you really try... I've had a closer look at my book collection and re-discovered some that I'd forgotten about and my local library is (hopefully) re-opening (after a major refit) this weekend, so I might have a wander up there and see if they have anything new :). I love not having the boys in here, peace and quiet have returned, and when we told the little girl we have (E) that the boys had left, her exact words were "Oh good!" LOL. With just her here it now means that until Noo comes in (Friday afternoons sometime after 2) we have Friday mornings off, and also work a half day Wednesdays. I could get used to it, I have to say. The last time I drove the car was Monday when we took Sissy back to Brighton and I haven't missed it, not really... it's lovely to know there is a car there, but I don't miss having to second guess some of the idiots that are on the roads these days! Better for the environment, too (I'm certainly driving five miles less a week now, lol).

Now, if I could just get my eyes to stop stinging and find some energy (as my "get up and go" seems to have "got up and gone" without me!) it would be perfect.

YIPPEE!!!

YEEESSSS!!

I am now on holiday... two whole weeks. All of the kids are gone until January 6th and I am really so very happy. I'm not bothered about presents, or good tv or anything like that... I have what I wanted for xmas - good food and time off from the kids LOL!!


We had snow last night and this morning in the early hours. About two inches, which was considerably less than predicted, about which I am incredibly glad. I used to love snow when I was young, but ever since I've been driving I've come to look on snow with dread. The thought of skidding my car and being stuck in the snow is not something that appeals to me in the slightest. When we had all that snow at the beginning of the year, I had to wear shoes to take the kids to school and they caused me terrible blisters (the shoes had special soles that had mini crampons on the bottom for walking on compacted snow and ice)... so I was dreading having to wear them again if the conditions underfoot proved to be incredibly treacherous (those shoes and my feet just do not get on in any way, LOL!! Sadly they are the best shoes I have for slippery conditions and I have to be careful as if I fall or something then we could be in a tight spot as there will be no-one here to drive the car and do the other school run, hence my being glad about the snow being bearable and the risks to life and limb being very slight).

Thank Crunchie it's Friday...

... now if all of the kids would just go home and not come back for two days, I'd be really grateful, LOL!!!

I get to about 5pm on Friday evening and I just long for hometime... the last hour of the week seems to crawl along... the clock seems to stop, and also the kids seem to get really stupid and do silly things! Ben is just a hairs' breadth from getting a time out! Gladly his Mum has just come through the door, so once they go... FREEDOM!!! Hahaha.

I'm going to see about devoting a small patch of the garden to craftwork next year... nothing major, just a small place where I can go and leave offerings and pour libations. I may try and get a small statue or ornament of some kind... just a little something, even a statue that is meant to hold birdseed, or something similar, nothing fancy, but something meaningful to me. Maybe a little fairy or something that I can paint or decorate myself, just to add that personal touch... I'm quite looking forward to seeing if I can find the kind of thing I have in mind.

Finally the boys have gone... and peace and tranquility once again rule the house.

I have a car...

.. AND IT WORKS!!!

I'm so bloody happy... turn the key in the ignition and it starts. Such a wonderful noise, and after the dreaded clicking that it has been making lately, such a welcome change.


I've been avoiding yeast all week, and I feel fine... no pain, bloating, cramps or other discomfort, so it must be that, as I've been eating pasta and soda bread (wheat of all kinds) and not a problem.

All in all, life is ticking along merrily at the moment - which makes a change from the semi-organised chaos that it usually seems to be LOL!!