Sometimes thinking too hard is bad for me!

I've been reading some of the blogs I follow, and I wish that I had some of the interests that other people seem to have... and also the seeming ease they have in writing about entertaining things that they do. Their entries are full of such exciting things, about subjects that I know nothing about and I wonder just why anyone would be interested in reading the stuff I write about? Most of the time I'm moaning, and if I'm not then I'm angry about something that I really should not be angry about. Rarely do I update about the pagan things, the very things I want to write about, yet because of my lack of privacy at home now, I rarely get the chance to practice.

I do nothing of any substance, certainly nothing that would be worth writing about anyway. At the moment my life seems to be working with kids and then watching tv or reading, eating and sleeping and maybe playing some games at Facebook. Hardly exciting stuff, is it? I highly doubt that the BBC are going to be beating my door down asking me to make a documentary about that! I think that the most exciting things I did today were wash up the dishes after dinner and write a few xmas cards for neighbours... yeah, really front page news! LOL. I felt so tired that I didn't even get dressed, I stayed in my pj's.

I wonder if my not feeling too well is the reason for my present ennui? Or maybe it's the weather? We had more snow today and whilst I agree it does look beautiful, it caused chaos on the hill - eight buses were stuck and one of them scared the hell out of me as it slid into the kerb, right outside my house and then came to a stop... it was a double decker, too, so quite capable of destroying my house if it happened to slide too far and crash through the front room windows!

I seem to have a permanent headache at the moment, and my nose is also blocked (and no amount of Sinex spray seems to remedy that for long, sadly). My whole head feels like it wants to explode and I have a dreadful pain above my eyes... I wonder if it's my sinuses? They usually are the cause of most of my headaches, stupid skull cavities.

See what I mean, moaning... again! Maybe I should just accept that I am quite a misery-guts most of the time!

Hopefully when I have ten days off at xmas I may be able to get out and do some things that normally I can't do as I work five days a week. Just getting out and taking some pictures would be better than sitting on my bum doing diddley squat (which is my usual habit).

I suppose I should go to sleep, I only had five hours last night as I got to bed late (or rather, early!) and then I was woken for breakfast, which was lovely, but I wasn't expecting it or else I would have gone to bed earlier, lol.

I feel dreadful...

... my throat is burning, my nose is blocked and also running (make up your mind!), my body aches and I've had four hours sleep since I woke up on Wednesday! All I've felt like doing is read, but with the house looking like a rubbish tip I've had no choice but to do as much as I can.

I just wish my throat would stop hurting... it makes breathing painful, and for some reason lately whenever I catch something it always goes straight to my throat and voice box and I end up either losing my voice completely or else I end up with a voice so husky and gravelly that I sound like Barry White!!

Bugger Pingu for bringing his rotten germs into the house and infecting us all... all five of us have something wrong with us because of all of the coughing and sneezing that he did earlier in the week... you'd think that tissues had never been invented the way he was carrying on... not even putting his hand over his mouth - just coughing and covering as much airspace around him (and also anyone in it) as possible... splendid!

I wonder if I'm developing insomnia? I seem to have real trouble getting to sleep lately. I have nothing important on my mind... no imminent threats of any kind regarding money or other stuff... to be frank I couldn't give a toss about that kind of thing these days, all of my past worrying got me nowhere so why bother? The only thing that sets me off is if we have trouble with our mortgage... I can handle everything except the thought of being homeless, lol!

Maybe it's having two other people in the house... and two very noisy ones at that! Housework seems never ending with them here now... no sooner has the washing up been done than there are plates and cups back in the sink **sigh** and don't even get me started on the laundry! In the past three days the poor washing machine has had to cope with six loads of washing... and we have a very large capacity drum on our machine, too. I wouldn't mind so much, but they are 19 and 24 years old, so they are not babies, but apart from making mess they always seem to conveniently disappear when it's time to clear it up!

**Deep sigh** I suppose I am just in a bit of a grumpy mood, what with feeling crap and also the lack of sleep... I just feel sort of - overwhelmed, somehow... and I get the distinct impression sometimes that this house is not my own anymore... I can't really put my finger on it... I just really miss the quiet and can't get used to the seemingly constant smell of garlic that is pervading the house from all of the curries and junk food that they both eat! (one good thing about having a blocked nose is that I am spared having to endure the offensive whiff... or maybe my cutting all alliums from my diet, which includes both onions and garlic, makes me more sensitive to their odour?)

I'm going to shut up moaning now and see about trying to get some sleep... I think I am going to be needed in my capacity as chauffeur later today... and I don't like driving tired... I find falling asleep at the wheel not conducive to living a long and mediocre life (I would say happy life, but just lately I don't feel very happy! hehe).

Why do bunged up noses always seem to get worse at night? Just when you need to be able to breathe properly you suddenly can't!!

Think I'll pull the curtains back and stare at the beautiful half moon I can see until I fall asleep...

I feel really "blah"

I can't really describe just how I feel, but I wish I could crawl back into bed and pull the covers over my head and stay there for a week! I am so tired today... maybe because I actually did something for a change?! I took E to school, got a few bits for tonight's dinner and then went and did the weekly shop with Mum. More than I usually do, lol.

I have been on a cake making binge lately (binge is a tad strong, but I can't think of a suitable alternative, for some reason). In the past three or four days I've made two victoria sponges, one chocolate sponge (with fresh cream) and twenty four fairy cakes... that is a lot for me to make in a month, let alone less than a week.



I am dreading doing the school run... just the thought of another week of B being stupid and not doing as he's told is enough to send even the most patient person heading for the hills... I really don't stand a chance, do I? hehe. Friday was lovely as there were no kids here... bliss I tell ya!

Anyhoo... I suppose I'd better get going... better to be on time rather than late (as usual!)

I feel very strange...

... I think I'm coming down with something, and I don't like it. My throat feels sort of scratchy and I always feel as if there is something stuck in my throat and I can't get rid of it. I also feel a bit achey, but I don't know if that's because I'm ill or because I moved a wardrobe yesterday.

I just don't feel 100%... I think I might have an early-ish night tonight and see if that helps.

Sometimes, Sissy drives me insane!! She was meant to not be going back to Brighton for about a month (she sorted it all out earlier this week, even getting an extension on her essay), but now she is going back tomorrow as her friend reminded her that they have tickets for some kind of show... so now she is going back tomorrow, staying tomorrow night/Thursday and then coming back early on Friday. So it looks like I'll be taking her tomorrow (no word on where the money for the diesel is coming from!!) and I'm not sure about Friday, but I know I cannot get her as I'm working (emergency babysitting).

I just wish she could make a decision and bloody stick to it! I love her dearly, but I have no desire to keep going backwards and forwards to Brighton all the damn time... the drive tires me intensely (and she always seems to go back in the dark, which I hate driving in as most of the journey is on motorways without lights and I always seem to get lost on the way back **sigh**)... that and she never thinks to pay for the fuel, and I can't keep affording the £15 per journey it takes to get her there and then get home again!

I am so tired... again!

Did the school run on the bus (way there) and on foot (way home) earlier today. Now I am the worlds' laziest person, so for me to walk a mile and a half in one go is a fairly big deal... especially with a seven and four year old as well. My feet and back hurt, but apart from that I don't feel too bad. I just wish that I could get rid of this head cold!

I have laryngitis now. I sounded like a teenaged boy with a breaking voice earlier today, but as time is going on I am getting more and more croaky and my ability to speak is decreasing. Would never be surprised if I don't lose my voice entirely in the very near future (not a good thing to happen when you look after kids and need to be able to do things like talk to them!!) Fortunately I don't have a sore throat, though, so at least I don't have that extra pain.

All I really want to do is go to bed, but if I go now I will be up at four in the morning, so I'll have to hang it out until at least 11pm (the past has shown that my going to bed any earlier than 11pm, except in the case of severe illness, just wakes me up far too early in the morning and by the afternoon school run I'm asleep on my feet... which is not good when I have to walk on them LOL!)


Mum phoned the mechanic that came round last time (Lee) and he is coming to have a look at "The-Embarrassing-Mobile" on Saturday. Fingers crossed for good news!

I feel really weird...

... my stomach is churning and I feel as if I'm going to be sick, which is not a nice feeling (especially for someone with a phobia of vomit, like me!)

I feel as if someone is squeezing me around the waist really hard, and I'm having to sit up very straight in order not to just throw up!

I do hope this passes soon, I can't afford to be sick now... I have kids to collect regardless of how I personally feel, so I do hope it's gone tomorrow!!!

Go away nausea, just please, please, please go away.