... don't panic, though, it's not serious.
Name any disease you can and I'll bet that you'd never guess the name of the one I have... in fact a lot of people wouldn't even class it as a disease. Measles? No. Chicken pox? No. Mumps? No. Turns out my disease is called Virginity and I need to be cured of it as soon as possible... apparently!
I've lost count of the amount of times I've been called a liar when I say I have never had a relationship, with anyone... and I can't see how guys can be so incredulous about it. No one has ever showed the slightest sign of interest in me before, and what the hell is the point in just going out and doing something stupid that you can never take back again?!
One of the things that annoys the crap out of me is that some guys think I should feel "grateful" when they offer to "cure me" of this pesky "disease" I have. I beg your pardon! One even kept talking tonight about "how would my parents feel about him staying over" to say I felt creeped out would be an understatement! First of all he wasn't my type, and secondly, when someone I've only known for twenty minutes starts talking about us sleeping together and him staying the night at my house (!) it's just moving way too fast for my liking or comfort!!
I wonder if part of my problem is that I seem to be attracting the wrong people... I know what I find attractive and what I don't, and I like white men... they could be Swedish, Scottish, French, Polish, Irish, German, whatever nationality, but I just don't find men of colour physically attractive (be they Black, Asian, Middle Eastern, etc)... just in the same kind of way that people of colour may not like white people. It's not something you have conscious control over... some people go for red hair, or green eyes, or bad boys, or big boobs, or accents but my preferences are few but important - a couple are, taller then me (around 6'3") and white... most everything else is workable (even the sex thing for the right person, just not everyone if that makes sense, it would have to be someone very special for me to even consider it and the people I'm meeting now are not "him").
Ideally I would love to find someone that understands the important things, like my being pagan and goth... they are two things that are at the very core of my being, I could no more change them than change my DNA, they are a part of myself and always will be. Another thing that I seem to be doing is attracting Christians, and I have no idea why that is either. I could not go out with a confessing Christian, even if he was 6'3" and white, the religion would put me off as I've seen what it can do to people. As soon as the words "bible" or "scripture" passed his lips I would be running for the hills and I wouldn't be able to help myself! If he were respectful of my path and not out to convert me at every turn then maybe we could cope, but most of the church attending people that I've seen (though admittedly online) have always been out to convert me, and that is never going to work on me... not anymore! Most of the time I see myself as a kind of pagan agnostic, so to have Jesus shoved in my face all the time would be one of the sure fire things that would have me leaving... to try and change the minds of others because only you feel you are speaking the "religious truth" is so disrespectful to me. I don't try and coerce people into believing differently to me, so no one else gets to do that and still be with me (sorry about that!) A guy can be a Christian, go to church, whatever, just understand that I don't have to believe the same things and can do whatever I choose regarding my faith, then it's fine.
I'm probably being way to picky, and all of the guys I seem to go for are too far away from me, like hundreds of miles away or (as it always seems to turn out later) in relationships or married! Maybe I need to get out more, go to places where people like me hang out (although I have no idea where that even is lol). Pagan and Goth seem to walk the "misunderstood line" together, and oftentimes the two paths converge and seamlessly blend into one (like with me), surely there have be others that have the same weird outlook on life as me out there?
WHERE ARE YOU?!?!
Name any disease you can and I'll bet that you'd never guess the name of the one I have... in fact a lot of people wouldn't even class it as a disease. Measles? No. Chicken pox? No. Mumps? No. Turns out my disease is called Virginity and I need to be cured of it as soon as possible... apparently!
I've lost count of the amount of times I've been called a liar when I say I have never had a relationship, with anyone... and I can't see how guys can be so incredulous about it. No one has ever showed the slightest sign of interest in me before, and what the hell is the point in just going out and doing something stupid that you can never take back again?!
One of the things that annoys the crap out of me is that some guys think I should feel "grateful" when they offer to "cure me" of this pesky "disease" I have. I beg your pardon! One even kept talking tonight about "how would my parents feel about him staying over" to say I felt creeped out would be an understatement! First of all he wasn't my type, and secondly, when someone I've only known for twenty minutes starts talking about us sleeping together and him staying the night at my house (!) it's just moving way too fast for my liking or comfort!!
I wonder if part of my problem is that I seem to be attracting the wrong people... I know what I find attractive and what I don't, and I like white men... they could be Swedish, Scottish, French, Polish, Irish, German, whatever nationality, but I just don't find men of colour physically attractive (be they Black, Asian, Middle Eastern, etc)... just in the same kind of way that people of colour may not like white people. It's not something you have conscious control over... some people go for red hair, or green eyes, or bad boys, or big boobs, or accents but my preferences are few but important - a couple are, taller then me (around 6'3") and white... most everything else is workable (even the sex thing for the right person, just not everyone if that makes sense, it would have to be someone very special for me to even consider it and the people I'm meeting now are not "him").
Ideally I would love to find someone that understands the important things, like my being pagan and goth... they are two things that are at the very core of my being, I could no more change them than change my DNA, they are a part of myself and always will be. Another thing that I seem to be doing is attracting Christians, and I have no idea why that is either. I could not go out with a confessing Christian, even if he was 6'3" and white, the religion would put me off as I've seen what it can do to people. As soon as the words "bible" or "scripture" passed his lips I would be running for the hills and I wouldn't be able to help myself! If he were respectful of my path and not out to convert me at every turn then maybe we could cope, but most of the church attending people that I've seen (though admittedly online) have always been out to convert me, and that is never going to work on me... not anymore! Most of the time I see myself as a kind of pagan agnostic, so to have Jesus shoved in my face all the time would be one of the sure fire things that would have me leaving... to try and change the minds of others because only you feel you are speaking the "religious truth" is so disrespectful to me. I don't try and coerce people into believing differently to me, so no one else gets to do that and still be with me (sorry about that!) A guy can be a Christian, go to church, whatever, just understand that I don't have to believe the same things and can do whatever I choose regarding my faith, then it's fine.
I'm probably being way to picky, and all of the guys I seem to go for are too far away from me, like hundreds of miles away or (as it always seems to turn out later) in relationships or married! Maybe I need to get out more, go to places where people like me hang out (although I have no idea where that even is lol). Pagan and Goth seem to walk the "misunderstood line" together, and oftentimes the two paths converge and seamlessly blend into one (like with me), surely there have be others that have the same weird outlook on life as me out there?
WHERE ARE YOU?!?!
